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Saturday, December 25, 2010

This is my wish for you:

"Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life."     (Anonymous)

I hope no matter what it is that you celebrate at this time of year, you are finding joy within it and those that surround you.

I tend to have a lot of conflicting feelings about holidays.  It's strange, the dynamics in our families.  Hubby comes from a larger, more involved family, whereas my family is the complete opposite.  We may go for months without speaking and years without ever seeing each other.  If you want to know the truth, and I'm sorry to those who may read this and take offense, but I would be so happy to have it somewhere in the middle.  We don't choose our family, though, (well, I guess we do choose our inlaws, but not directly) and when it comes down to it, we need to have that place in our hearts where we are thankful for them no matter what. 

My kids are at the ages where they are remember the things on their Santa lists that they didn't get.  So, they found themselves surrounded by mountains of toys and they realized they didn't get the unicorn with the rainbow circles or the 4 remote controlled monster trucks.  This wasn't a major meltdown moment, or anything like that, but it did get the little mouse wheels in my brain turning. 

We see this so often in day to day life even as adults, where we are so hung up on what we don't have, and we forget to be thankful for what we do have.  It is moments like that one I experienced today with each of my kids that begin to shape that feeling of disappointment of losing things we never had in the first place.  Moments like that may be small and insignificant now, but grow bigger later on in life when we don't have the nicest house in the neighborhood or we don't get the job promotion that we felt we were destined to receive.  Suddenly the houses we have aren't good enough, and the jobs we have aren't satisfying enough. 

We can even take it a step further and consider the relationships in our lives.  Maybe hubby snores, or wifey doesn't do the dishes just right.  Mom always calls in the middle of dinner, and why in the world does Aunt So-and-So feel like your private life is always her personal business to judge?  And then when you sit at the holiday table together, no one is getting along because this person said that about the other, and everyone is holding a grudge over something that didn't quite happen the way that everyone is saying.

So, as I was laying in bed next to my little guy (who was mad at me, incidentally, because I made him apologize for crawling all over great grandmother's table, but that's another story for another time) and he was reminding me that Santa forgot his monster trucks, I started talking to him about the things that he did have.  And then I became one of *those* parents.....you know.....the ones who always remind their kids about little Johnny down the street who goes to bed hungry every night.  I was gentle about it, though, and I hope that I helped him find some thankfulness in his heart for the things he does have.  After all....there are so many hungry, cold, and lonely children in this world (maybe even in our city) who have absolutely nothing right now.

I also reminded him that even though he got in trouble at Great Grandma's, she loves him very much.  I reminded him that the people who love us in life are good to be thankful for as well.  Love is so much more important than anger, and being thankful goes a very long way with those who love us.  Hell, being thankful goes a long way with people who just tolerate us, too.

So for all of you who are simmering down from an extended holiday weekend, I'd like to appeal to you now, if I may.  Take a moment to consider those who may be angering or frustrating you.  Forget about what it is that they have done wrong.  Consider your life without them.  Surely those things they give you throughout your life are worth being thankful for. 

And for those of you who may be feeling disappointed at things you haven't gotten, please let go of that feeling and replace it instead with gratitude and appreciation for all that you do have.  As we sit here in our warm rooms, playing around on the internet and catching up on virtual friends' lives through blogs, remember that it is very possible someone within miles of your own home is going to bed hungry tonight.

I'm not saying it is all sunshine and roses, and surely there are people out there who may read this and feel that they are truly suffering as a result of their circumstances.  If you know anyone who may be in a position of misfortune, please, reach out to them.  Love them.

I don't know what messages you hope to carry to your children in the holiday season (or in life in general, actually), but these are the messages that I hope my little ones got from me today.  They might be too young to really "get it" yet, but I'm sure if I repeat myself about seven hundred more times like that old uncle we all had who said, "Pull my finger," at every family dinner, my message will linger (much like the aftermath of that uncle's overused line as well....but hopefully less pungently).

I hope you find peace, love, warmth and joy in your heart.  I hope you find patience, gratitude, and compassion in your soul.  These, like the quote above, are also very much my wishes for you.

Be safe, be loved.  :)